Magical Feeling by MYMP

Magical Feeling by MYMP

I was in a car crash
Thrown out like trash
Slap twice, step thrice
It felt so real
Baby what’s the deal
Look straight into my eyes
You told me all these lies

I didn’t see it coming
I didn’t see it happening
That one day you’d be leaving me hanging

I’m happy you left me
I prayed that you hurt me
It’s a magical feeling
Knowing that you’re not meant for me

Heavy rains poured on me
Lightning struck and hit me
Slap twice, step thrice
It felt so real
Baby what’s the deal
Look straight into my eyes
You told me all these lies
I didn’t see it coming
I didn’t see it happening
That one day you’d be leaving me hanging

I’m happy you left me
I prayed that you hurt me
It’s a magical feeling
Knowing that you’re not meant for me

People say you’re sorry
But baby don’t you worry
Life has been easier without you
We should have done this earlier.

I’m happy you left me
I prayed that you hurt me
It’s a magical feeling
Knowing that you’re not meant for me

You’re Not a Kid Anymore When…

You’re Not a Kid Anymore When…
================================

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half his age and nobody says he’s robbing the cradle.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You make an appointment to see the dentist.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

Neighbors borrow your tools.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you ?”

You have a dream about prunes.

You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”

You send money to PBS.

The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know what the word “equity” means.

You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

You take a nap to get ready for bed.

Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

______________________________________

The “Older” Serenity Prayer
============================

In answer to the issue, “The Changed Serenity Prayer”
The “Older” Serenity Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

_________________________________________________________________

The Changed Serenity Prayer
============================

The MountainWings issue, “The Person I Can Fix” moved me to send
my version of the serenity prayer.

I was in Alcoholics Anonymous and took on The Serenity Prayer as
a daily ritual. After some years I realized that the “things”
that I struggled with were other people!

My version became:

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change.
The courage to change the only person I can, myself.
And the wisdom to know the difference between when it is my
problem or their problem.

~ A MountainWings Original by Dane Gravely, Collinsville, VA~

Jesus was…

Three Proofs that Jesus Was…
==============================

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
He went into his father’s business
He lived at home until he was 33
He was sure his Mother was a virgin,
and his Mother was sure he was God

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
He never got married
He was always telling stories
He loved green pastures

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN
His first name was Jesus
He was bilingual
He was always being harassed by the authorities

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
He talked with his hands
He had wine with every meal
He worked in the building trades

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
He called everybody “brother”
He liked Gospel
He couldn’t get a fair trial

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
He never cut his hair
He walked around barefoot
He started a new religion

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN
He had to feed a crowd, at a moments notice, when there was no food.
He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
Even dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

Dog Talk

Dog Talk
=========

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he
sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
“Talking Dog For Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog
is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a
nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak,
he says, “So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could
talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government,
so I told them. In no time at all they had me jetting from
country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running.

“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I
wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I
signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover
security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening
in.

“I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a bunch of
medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just
retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars?! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.”

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8030.htm

DON’T FORGET TO SMILE

DON’T FORGET TO SMILE

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that
morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily
trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds
whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little
girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked
home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might
harm her child.

Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would
cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her
car and drove along the route to her child’s school. As she did so, she
saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the
child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow
quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light
and smile.

When the mother’s car drove up beside the child she lowered the window
and called to her, “What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?”

The child answered, “I am trying to look pretty, God keeps taking my
picture.

May God bless you today as you face the storms that come your way.

And don’t forget to SMILE!

– Author Unknown

THE 11th – 20th COMMANDMENTS

THE 11th – 20th COMMANDMENTS

11th. Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all
human activities.
12th. Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never
come to pass.
13th. Thou shalt not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one
has yet succeeded in accomplishing this.
14th. Thou shalt handle only one problem at a time, and leave the
others to the Lord until their turn comes up.
15th. Thou shalt not take troubles to bed with you, for they make
very poor bedfellows.
16th. Thou shalt not try to carry the problems of the world on your
shoulders, for nobody (except for One) has a back that is broad
enough.
17th. Thou shalt be a good listener, for God often speaks to us
through the mouths of others.
18th. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday; for good or ill, it is
forever gone. Live in the now and rejoice in it.
19th. Thou shalt firmly dismiss feelings of frustration, for 90% of
it is rooted in self-pity and will interfere with positive action.
20th. Thou shalt count thy blessings, never overlooking the smallest,
for our biggest blessings are composed of many small ones.

– Author Unknown

OVERWORKED

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——————-
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#3078 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
————————————————-

OVERWORKED
===========

…do you ever feel like this person?

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep,
not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax
buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think of.

But now I found out the real reason:
I’m tired because I’m overworked . . . Here’s why:

The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school,
which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government,
leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and
city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and I.

And there you are sitting at your computer reading this
MountainWings issue.

Leaving me to do all the work.

Pregnancy Pain

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——————-
MountainWings       A MountainWings Moment
#6200          Wings Over The Mountains of Life
————————————————-

Pregnancy Pain
===============

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant.
This is her first pregnancy.  The doctor asks her if she has any
questions.  She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the
pain.  How much will childbirth hurt?”

The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and
pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe
pain.”

“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?” she asks.

“Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”

“Like this?”

“A little more…”

“Like this?”

“No. A little more…”

“Like this?”

“Yes. Does that hurt?”

“A little bit.”

“Now stretch it over your head!”

Unique Breakfast

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——————-
MountainWings       A MountainWings Moment
#3092          Wings Over The Mountains of Life
————————————————-

Unique Breakfast
=================

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read
“Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down.

The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he
wanted.

“What’s your Unique Breakfast?” he asked inquisitively.

“Baked tongue of chicken!” she proudly replied.

“Baked tongue of chicken?… baked tongue of chicken!
Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?

I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a
chicken’s mouth!” he fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, “What would you like then?”

“Just bring me some scrambled eggs,” the man replied.