THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! Thanks VAL!!!!!Share
Today at 9:37pm
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… barefoot…BOTH waysYadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3′ s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause – that’s how we rolled, dig?

We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen… forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd

(Send this to someone you’d like to make smile, Whether they are under 30 or not.)

Religious Differences

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one
Sunday afternoon when he came to the crossroads where he met a
little girl coming from the other direction.

“Hello,” said the little boy.
“Hi,” replied the little girl.
“Where are you going?” asked the little boy.
“I’ve been to church this morning and I’m on my way home,”
answered the little girl.

“Me too,” replied the little boy. “I’m also on my way home from
church.” “Which church do you go to?” asked the little boy.
“I go to the Baptist church back down the road,” replied the
little girl.
“What about you?”
“I go to the Catholic church back at the top of the hill,”
replied the little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way so they
decided that they’d walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had
partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could
get across to the other side without getting wet.

“If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom’s going to skin me
alive,” said the little girl.
“My Mom’ll tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet,”
replied the little boy.

“I tell you what I think I’ll do,” said the little girl.
“I’m gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head
and wade across.”
“That’s a good idea,” replied the little boy. “I’m going to do
the same thing with my suit.”

So they both undressed and waded across to the other side
without getting their clothes wet.

They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before
putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally
remarked,

“You know, I never did realize before just how much difference
there really is between a Baptist and a Catholic.”

Religious Differences

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one
Sunday afternoon when he came to the crossroads where he met a
little girl coming from the other direction.

“Hello,” said the little boy.
“Hi,” replied the little girl.
“Where are you going?” asked the little boy.
“I’ve been to church this morning and I’m on my way home,”
answered the little girl.

“Me too,” replied the little boy. “I’m also on my way home from
church.” “Which church do you go to?” asked the little boy.
“I go to the Baptist church back down the road,” replied the
little girl.
“What about you?”
“I go to the Catholic church back at the top of the hill,”
replied the little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way so they
decided that they’d walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had
partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could
get across to the other side without getting wet.

“If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom’s going to skin me
alive,” said the little girl.
“My Mom’ll tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet,”
replied the little boy.

“I tell you what I think I’ll do,” said the little girl.
“I’m gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head
and wade across.”
“That’s a good idea,” replied the little boy. “I’m going to do
the same thing with my suit.”

So they both undressed and waded across to the other side
without getting their clothes wet.

They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before
putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally
remarked,

“You know, I never did realize before just how much difference
there really is between a Baptist and a Catholic.”

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers and factors.
This includes age, height, eye and skin color, who your parents
are, past stuff and present stuff that you can’t change.
Don’t worry about what you cannot change.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/7326.mp3

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
Who you are attached to will bless you up or mess you up.
Make sure that YOU are a cheerful friend and not a grouch.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/5452.mp3

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is
the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/4023.mp3

4. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/6269.mp3

5. Enjoy the simple things. Breath is one of the simple things.

http://www.cryofthespirit.com/breath.html

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. Don’t blame
others for your situation. The only person, who is with us our
entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/5408.mp3

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is
your refuge. http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/7150.mp3

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get
help. Your body is the most important vehicle you will ever own.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/4021.mp3

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the
next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/6257.mp3

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity. http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/5366.mp3

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!

~Submitted as an Author Unknown but several were modified and
additional message links added by The Mountain~

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:

http://www.mountainwings.com/past/9310.htm

Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
Change a life, give a friend MountainWings.
See you tomorrow.

been a while ei??

A CHILD’S PRAYER

Dear God, are You still awake?
Have You got a minute or two?
You’re pretty good at understanding,
And I really need to talk to You.

You see, Mommy came to tuck me in,
Like she does every night.
I was trying to play a trick on her,
Since she can’t see without the light.

I was going to close my eyes
And pretend to be asleep.
But when I heard her crying,
I didn’t dare let out a peep.

She started talking to you, God.
Did You hear the things she said?
Could You hear what she was saying
As she stood beside my bed?

Why would Mommy be so sad?
I wondered just what I had done,
And then I began to remember it all
As she named them one by one…

This morning we worked in the garden,
But, honest, I really didn’t know
That if I picked all those little yellow blooms
The tomatoes wouldn’t grow!

Charlie and I were trying to be helpers,
‘Cause I know that’s what Mommy needs,
But I don’t think she was too happy with us
when we pulled up carrots instead of weeds.

Mommy said we should stop for the day,
she decided we had helped quite enough.
I sure had worked up an appetite…
I didn’t know gardening was so tough!

We had peanut-butter and jelly for lunch
and I shared too much, I guess…
But I didn’t realize until I was done
that Charlie had made such a mess.

Mommy said she needed a nap,
she had one of her headaches today.
She told me to keep an eye on my sister
and find something quiet to play.

Well, God, do You remember all those curls
you gave my little sister Jenny?
We played barber shop…very quietly…
and now, well, she doesn’t have any.

Boy, was Mommy mad at me…
I had to go sit on my bed.
She said never to cut “people hair” again.
I guess I’ll practice on Charlie instead.

We sat and watched poor old Albert,
I just knew he must be so bored
Going round and round
in the same place all day,
Wouldn’t You think so, Lord?

I didn’t think it would hurt
to let him out for a while.
I mean, mice need exercise, too.
By the way, have You seen Albert lately?
He’s been sort of missing since two.

Mommy sent us outside for the rest of the day.
She said we needed fresh air.
But when Daddy came home she told him
She was trying to get something out of her hair.

We thought Mommy needed cheering up,
so we decided to brighten her day.
But, God, did You see the look on her face
When we gave her that pretty bouquet?

We had gotten a little bit dirty,
so Mommy said to get in the tub.
“Use soap this time,” she reminded,
“and please don’t forget to scrub.”

Charlie didn’t like the water too much,
but I lathered up real good.
I knew Mommy would be so proud of me
For cleaning up like I should.

I went downstairs to the table,
but during dinner it started to rain…
I’d forgotten to turn off the water, it seems,
and I hadn’t unplugged the drain!

I decided right then it was just about time
to start getting ready for bed,
When Mommy said, “It’s sure been a long day.”
And her face began turning all red.

I lay there listening to Mommy
as she told You about our day.
I thought about all of the things I had done
and I wondered what I should say.

I was just about to tell her
that I’d been awake all along,
And ask her to please forgive me
for all of those thing I’d done wrong.

When suddenly, I heard her whisper,
“God, forgive me for today…
For not being more understanding
when those problems came my way…

For not handling situations in the way
You wanted me to…for getting angry
and losing my temper,
Things I know You don’t want me to do.

And, God, please give me more patience,
Help me make it through another day,
I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise.
In Jesus’ name I pray.”

Wiping her eyes, she kissed me
and knelt here beside my bed.
She stroked my hair for a little while…”
I love you, precious,” Mommy said.

She left the room without ever knowing
That I’d been awake all the time.
And God, could we make it our little secret?
You know, just Yours and mine?

I’m sorry I was so much trouble today,
I really didn’t mean to be…
Daddy says it’s tough being a kid sometimes,
but I think it’s harder on Mommy than me.

Well, goodnight, God. Thanks for listening.
It’s sure nice to know You’re there.
I feel so much better when I talk to You
’cause You always hear my prayer.

And I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise…
Just You wait and see!
I’ll try not to be so much trouble again,
But, God, please give more patience to Mommy
……Just in case! Amen.

“But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come
unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 19:14

– Author Unknown

What Would It Take To Make You Leave?

What would it take to make you leave?

With MountainWings I experience various levels of commitment. I realize that few will like or agree with every issue that I publish. Something is bound to strike you the wrong way or simply be misunderstood.

Often when people don’t like an issue for whatever reason, they will write and say they are unsubscribing. I remember one case in particular after the issue, “Cat Got Your Chum?” where I explained that I had to give away my cats because my wife was terrified of cats. A lady emailed that she was unsubscribing because she couldn’t respect any man who would put his wife over his cats. Perhaps she had one too many ‘good cat/bad man’ experiences.

Many instances are similar. I began to see the parallel with other relationships in life: Job – marriage – siblings – friends – parent and child – churches – schools – even countries.

Many will leave a relationship for the slightest reason. Marriages break up over trivial things. Lifelong friendships are destroyed in a blink. Brothers and sisters won’t speak to each other nor children to parents. You’d be surprised how many prayer requests I get from grandparents asking for prayer to soften the hearts of their children to let them see their grandchildren.

Something made them leave. Something broke the relationship. Something caused the split.

I told my wife when we married what it would take for me to leave her. She would have to leave this earth; other than that, I was committed, come cats or high water.

With every relationship that you have, that question looms.

With the increased sensitivities these days, the answers on that list are often long.

When you ask yourself the question, “What would it take to make me leave?” the shorter and more traumatic the list, the more likely the relationship will endure because with all relationships, sooner or later something is likely to happen.

So think about your relationships, and ask yourself the question:

What would it take to make me leave?

…and for the relationships that you really want to last, perhaps you should shorten the list.

~A MountainWings Original~

the kiss

The Kiss
=========

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The
woman’s face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband
they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was so
skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin…however,
the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
The husband requested that no one be told of this because it
was, after all, a very delicate matter!

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did
before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at
her youthful beauty!

She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank
him for what he did. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you
for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever
repay you!”

He replied, “Oh don’t worry, Honey. I get plenty thanks enough
every time your mother comes over and kisses you on the cheek!”

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED

Sometimes people come into your life

and you know right away that they were meant to be there,

they serve some sort of purpose,

teach you a lesson

or help figure out who you are

and who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be:

your neighbor, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger

who, when you lock eyes with them,

you know at that very moment that they will affect your life

in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you

and at the time they seem painful and unfair,

but in reflection you realize

that without overcoming those obstacles

you would have never realized

your potential strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance

or by means of good or bad luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity

all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests,

whether they be events, illnesses or relationships,

life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere,

safe and comfortable,

but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life

and the successes and downfalls you experience

create who you are,

and even the bad experiences can be learned from,

In fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart,

forgive them,

for they have helped you learn about trust

and the importance of being cautious to

whom you open your heart…

If someone loves you,

love them back unconditionally,

not only because they love you,

but because they are teaching you to love

and opening your heart and eyes to things

you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment

and take from it everything that you possibly can,

for you may never be able to experience it again…

Talk to people you have never talked to before,

and actually listen,

let yourself fall in love,

break free and set your sights high…

Hold your head up because you have every right too.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself…

for if you don’t believe in yourself,

no one else will believe in you either.

Create your own life

and then go out and live in it!

“Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last…

Tomorrow is Not Promised”

– Author Unknown

THE POWER OF GOD

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to
talk to…THAT’S GOD…he wants you to talk to him.

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like
doing something nice for someone you care for…THAT’S GOD…he talks to you
through the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven’t seen in a long
time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from
them…THAT’S GOD…there is no such thing as “coincidence.”

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn’t even ask for,
like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a
coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted,
but couldn’t afford…THAT’S GOD…he knows the desires of your heart…

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get
better, but now you look back on it…THAT’S GOD… he passes us through
tribulation to see a brighter day…

– Author Unknown

STEPPING STONES

The Lord came to me like a dream one day and asked, “why do you sorrow?”

I answered, “Lord my life is so full of pain, I can’t face one more
tomorrow.”

The Lord sat down beside me, and gently took my hand.

He said, “Let Me explain to you, and then you’ll understand.

Each sorrow is a stepping stone you must surmount each day,

And every stepping stone you climb is a sorrow that’s passed away.

The road of life is a mountainside, with crevices in which to be caught,

But as you struggle on your way, I, the Rock, will lend support.

Every stepping stone you climb, makes spirit and heart grow strong.

Exercising character and faith, this road seems painful and long.

The way is paved with stepping stones, to uplift your heart and soul,

Though difficult, they aid your way, to a City paved with gold.

I know that you are tired, for I too have walked this way,

My sorrows did they multiply, but I cleared many stones away.

I left My Rock to lift you up, I left behind My story.

To give you strength to make your climb, to that special place in glory.

And never fear, the Rock is here, you’ll never climb this mountain alone

Surmount life’s sorrows, continue on, for they are but stepping stones.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own
understanding. In all ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

– Author Unknown